Review: Melrose Place
2009 Version of 1990s Kitschy Classic Premieres Sept. 10 on Global
Aug 20, 2009
In the 1990s, Melrose Place was the primetime guilty pleasure for Gen-Xers, which almost everybody watched, but few admitted to seeing. And now it’s back. Sort of.
Melrose Place - 2009 Style
Melrose Place, the original kitschy, sexy, melodrama (of the same genre as Knots Landing and Dallas) chronicled the lives – and the lying, cheating, backstabbing – of a group of gorgeous twenty-somethings living in Los Angeles (which was quite a lot grittier back then).
The 2009 version seems, at first, blush, to be more sophisticated. But only by a single, bleached-blonde hair. The characters include: doctor-in-training, Lauren Yung (Stephanie Jacobsen) who prostitutes herself in the first hour; a cook named Auggie Kirkpatrick who has a very big, bad secret (Colin Egglesfield); publicist Ella Simms, (Katie Cassidy); Jonah Miller, an earnest filmmaker (Michael Rady of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants); schoolteacher Riley Richmond (Jessica Lucas of Cloverfield), and David Breck (Shaun Sipos), a drug dealer who is also Michael’s (Thomas Calabro) estranged son.
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is Violet Foster
They all live at the infamous Melrose Place apartments and cross paths in the courtyard to exchange smouldering glances, show off their hot bodies, and trendy ensembles. Singer Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is the weakest of the cast as newbie Violet Foster. She’s a terrible, wooden actress who lingers around the infamous pool like a spider waiting for prey.
Laura Leighton isSydney Again
And flame-haired Sydney (Laura Leighton) is back for a nanosecond, looking wizened with age (the California sun will do that) but sporting a skinny-as-a-lamppost body. And she has a patent on bitchiness. (Yes she was killed in the original MP but she's back for a bit and reportedly will appear in flashbacks.)
Katie Cassidy as the New Heather Locklear?
Hot on her bitchy heels is Cassidy as Simms, a bisexual publicist, reminding viewers of Amanda Woodward (Heather Locklear) right down to the golden locks and even the tousled, just-had-sex hairstyle. (Although if memory serves Amanda liked men exclusively.)
It’s not evident who will take on the role of resident hunk, Grant Show. (Can anyone forget the opening sequence in the original that featured Show searching for beer in his fridge …with tight jeans and a bare chest? Yum.) Show might return for a cameo.
Pilot Features Murder, Drugs, SexWithout giving away too much, here’s a rundown of what happens in the vapid and addictive pilot.
Someone is murdered. The chef mourns the dead. The filmmaker proposes to his girlfriend, the teacher. The publicist cheats and lies. The doctor needs to raise money quickly to pay for tuition. Sydney blackmails everybody. Ashlee Simpson-Wentz wanders around looking as if she was hit with an elephant tranquillizer dart. The drug dealer buys drugs. Michael regrets his marriage as he reads Goodnight Moon to his child. Hooked yet?
Melrose Place premieres on The CW on September 8 at 9 p.m. on Global in Canada on September 9 at 10 p.m.
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